Stories from Our Volunteers

Many people help out at Hospicare - both those who are part of our formal volunteer program and those who help out on an occasional basis, including those doing community service from local schools and colleges. Here are some of their stories:

Frank Rossi: 'We are all in this together.'

Frank Rossi calls himself  "a short order breakfast cook trapped in a horticulture professor's body." Rossi has been volunteering at Hospicare for seven years.

"I am able to express my compassion with patients and family through food and drink. I have found the smallest gestures during challenging times are often the most meaningful for the patients, the staff, the families and I. Sharing a cup of coffee, handing them a warm chocolate chip cookie, or whipping up some home fries and eggs helps bring a smile or maybe nothing more than to remind them we are all in this together."

"I often find myself starting the day with a tear in my eye and a smile on my face, knowing no matter how my day turns from that point I have made a difference, even for a moment, and served my neighbor. At the end of the day Hospicare IS "about how you live" and to my fellow volunteers, Hospicare staff, patients and families, thank you for showing me how to live better!"

Barbara Butcher: 'We listen, laugh, hug, cry ..."

"I decided to volunteer at Hospicare about a year after my father passed from mesothelioma in Pittsburgh," said Barbara Butcher. "The hospice staff supported all of us and I was free to experience incredible closeness and joy with my dad.

 "While many families choose to care for their loved ones at home or in a nursing facility, Hospicare of Ithaca is one of the few hospice and palliative care facilities with a residence for patients. Our volunteers make meals, play music, garden, do outreach, and provide company for the individual or respite care for the caregiver. We listen, laugh, hug, cry, share stories, and sometimes just sit in companionable silence.

"Some say I must be very strong to be able to 'deal with death.' I reply that it is a great honor to spend time with patients and families at this tragic and beautiful time. We learn to be gentle and kind, and with awe and compassion say goodbye to lives well lived."

Stephanie Rothe: 'Every single person has taught me something.'

Every week, massage therapist Stephanie Rothe brings therapeutic touch to a person at Hospicare whose body is impacted by terminal illness, but whose life shines through and touches her.

Rothe said her approach to massage for those who are dying doesn’t dwell in fear, anger, or anxiety, but brings both her and the patient to a place of peace. “You come back into the present moment. You feel connectedness. You are all right. You feel calm.”

Rothe came to massage school in Ithaca after a career as a sailor on commercial boats. She spent months at a time on the open ocean, working her way up from swabbing decks when she was 24 to eventually captaining small vessels. At 30, she was ready for a life on land where she could garden, put down roots, and lead a quieter, connected life.

She has volunteered for Hospicare since 2006. In her own practice, she focuses particularly on women and breast cancer. It was her work with a hospice patient who had cancer that led her to concentrate on oncology massage – both at Hospicare and in her practice.

 “I’ve met some incredible people in this,” she said. “Every single person has taught me something.”

Joe Amore: 'I wear my heart on my sleeve.'

Joe Amore has sat with patients when they died. He has come out in the middle of the night when a patient was agitated and the family couldn’t get him to calm down. He holds hands. And he’ll talk about anything that is on a patient’s mind or heart.

"Sometimes we just sit and visit. Sometimes they are having a tough time dealing with the finality of life. I listen to them," Joe said. "I try to reassure them that everything is OK."

Joe, a retired elementary school principal, has volunteered at Hospicare since 2005. “You have to have a sense of humor," he said. "You have to have a lot of love. I wear my heart on my sleeve."

After someone he got to know dies, Joe said he grieves too and sometimes takes a break before coming back to meet a new patient. But the work continues to speak to him. "It’s a very rewarding kind of a thing. You’re really helping during some of the most difficult times of their life," Joe said. "I feel like I’m being productive and that I’m giving back.”

Karen Raponi: 'It really puts things in perspective.'

Karen Raponi comes to the Hospice residence every Tuesday night to visit with residents.

"My evening may be spent reading a book to a resident, chatting, or quietly holding someone’s hand and being present," she said.

Karen visits with Mike Musci

It’s an experience that is very fulfilling, said Karen, who has volunteered since 2007.

"I’m enriched by the people I meet," she said. "While sitting with someone - I’m so touched by being able to be with them and hold their hand.  The time spent with the residents really puts things in perspective. If I’ve had a crazy day and then come to hospice, it reminds me that this is what it should be about – caring for people.

"I never think about it being the end for anyone. I think that’s what’s special about hospice. Everybody thinks about today and the comfort of the individual."

Katy Martin: Part of the holiday dinner crew

Katy Martin first spent Thanksgiving in the residence at Hospicare when she was in seventh grade and her dad’s girlfriend asked if she would like to help serve dinner to residents and their families. "I fell in love with helping out," she said.

Audrey Dunham, Jennifer Ho, Emilie Dunham and Katy Martin (L to R)n 2009, now 17, Katy was looking for a community service project for the National Honor Society and thought again about Hospicare.  She drafted her friend Emilie Dunham to help her set up tables the day before and her friend Jennifer Ho to help peel potatoes and prepare other food on Thanksgiving Day.

They were joined by Emilie’s mother and sister Audrey and other hospice volunteers to make the day a feast and a celebration for 35 people, including six hospice residents and their families. The volunteers help make the residence a welcoming place for families who want to celebrate what might be a final holiday with someone they love, said Barbara Butcher, the volunteer who coordinated the dinner. "It was so important to them – such a relief that they could all be together and not stress out about how it would happen," Barbara said.