Grieving Children and Teens
Losing someone you love is painful at any age but it can be more confusing and overwhelming for children and teens. Normal behaviors for children who are grieving may include nightmares, fears, anger, regression, or pretending a death didn’t happen. This is a time when children need adults to pay attention and listen.
Adults often wonder what’s the best thing to say to a young person after a death. Often, the best thing to do is to listen and let a child or teenager tell you about the experience.
Our Good Grief Program:
We provide special opportunities for children, teens, and their families/caregivers that combine education and fun as a model for healthy grief. Past events have included a puppeteer, storyteller, and a potter. This program also offers educational resources to school professionals and is available for students who have experienced the loss of a loved one.
Helpful background:
What parents should know. To help grieving children and teens, it’s helpful to keep in mind the “Seven Rs” - Regression, Routines, Responsibilities, Revisit, Remembering, Rituals, and Resilience. Knowing what to expect from your child can help you take steps to ease this difficult time. Read more.
Should your child go to the funeral? How do children say goodbye? What do they need, and how can families and funeral services address their needs? Read more.
How grief responses change by age. Depending upon a child’s age, he or she may not see death as permanent or may be more likely to be angry at his or her parents. Read more.
Activities for children. Here are some concrete ways to help children express their feelings through talking, writing, and drawing. Journaling, either done as a family activity or privately, can help children and teens process grief and loss. Find out how to get started.
More resources:
KIDSAID is a safe place for kids to share and to help each other deal with grief about any of their losses. It's a place to share and deal with feelings, to show artwork and stories, to talk about pets, to meet with one's peers. There are even some games and contests. KIDSAID is owned and run by GriefNet.
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families provides activities and informations geared toward children, teens, and adults.
Teen grief is a site provided by a support organization called New Hope that is designed for teens to express and share feelings.
Kindred Angels from the non-profit organization, Groww, is geared to children who have lost a sibling, cousin or friend.
Babysteps is a resource center for parents and children who have lost a child or sibling designed by a family who lost their 20-month old son, Spencer.
M.I.S.S. Foundation An organization committed to providing crisis support and long term aid to families after the death of a child from any cause. This “just for kids” page on their web site includes materials for children on grief and healing from any loss.
A parent's journey through loss. Joanne Cacciatore, the CEO of the M.I.S.S. Foundation, writes about the emotions she experiences after the death of her child and how she responds to the well meaning - but challenging - comments of other people.
For more information:
Contact bereavement counselor Kira Lallas at klallas@hospicare.org or 607-272-0212.
